Letter from camp - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Dear Mom & Dad,
Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened.
Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.
Scoutmaster Ted got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up?
The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes. Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.
We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Ted gets the bus fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Ted said that with a bus that old, you have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance.
We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus made for 24. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us.
Scoutmaster Ted is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Jessie how to drive on the mountain roads where there aren't any cops. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.
This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out to the rapids. Scoutmaster Ted wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast (it's concrete because we didn't have any plaster), so he let us take the canoe out. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood.
Scoutmaster Ted isn't crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble.
Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dove into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works.
Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Ted said it probably was just food poisoning from the left-over chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time.
I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters & buy some more beer and ammo. Don't worry about anything.
Love, Jimmie
Letter from camp - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
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Showing posts with label Funny Kid Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Kid Jokes. Show all posts
Saving the president - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
Saving the president - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.
Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.
After cleaning up he said, “Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I’ll give it to you.”
The first boy said, “Please, I’d like a ticket to Disneyland!”
“I’ll personally hand it to you,” said Bush.
“I’d like a pair of Nike Air Turbos,” the second boy said.
“I’ll buy them myself and give them to you,” said Bush.
“And I’d like a wheelchair with a stereo in it,” said the third boy.
“I’ll personally … wait a second, son, you’re not handicapped!”
“No, but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning.”
Saving the president - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
One day Bush was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.
Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out of the river.
After cleaning up he said, “Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I’ll give it to you.”
The first boy said, “Please, I’d like a ticket to Disneyland!”
“I’ll personally hand it to you,” said Bush.
“I’d like a pair of Nike Air Turbos,” the second boy said.
“I’ll buy them myself and give them to you,” said Bush.
“And I’d like a wheelchair with a stereo in it,” said the third boy.
“I’ll personally … wait a second, son, you’re not handicapped!”
“No, but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved from drowning.”
Saving the president - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Pregnant - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
Pregnant - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his
mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby"
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"She said, "He
sure is.
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes.
It's a real good baby."With an even more surprised and shocked look,
he asked... "Then why did you eat him?"
Pregnant - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his
mother in the doctors office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby"
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"She said, "He
sure is.
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes.
It's a real good baby."With an even more surprised and shocked look,
he asked... "Then why did you eat him?"
Pregnant - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Water hole - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
Water hole - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.
"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for years,
And he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
Water hole - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
One day, Little Johnny's grandmother sent him to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner.
As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and ran back to grandma's house as fast as he could.
"Where's my bucket and my water?" She asked.
"I can't get any water from that water hole, there's a mean ol' alligator down there!"
"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for years,
And he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"
"Well, Grandma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"
Water hole - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Stolen - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
Stolen - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.
Stolen - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.
Stolen - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Confessions of a Kid - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
Confessions of a Kid - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."
Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.
Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.
Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you,
Bobby
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner", Bobby's mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Bobby began to write his letter to God.
Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND ME THE BIKE!!
Confessions of a Kid - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Little Bobby came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted.
"Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."
Little Bobby was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Bobby's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Bobby, of course, thought he did. Bobby's mother wanted Bobby to reflect on his behavior over the last year.
"Go to your room, Bobby, and think about how you have behaved this year.Then write a letter to God and tell him why you deserve a bike for your birthday."
Little Bobby stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
Letter 1
Dear God,
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
Letter 2
Dear God,
This is your friend Bobby. I have been a good boy this year and I would like a red bike for my birthday. Thank you.
Your friend,
Bobby
Bobby knew that this wasn't true either. So, he tore up the letter and started again.
Letter 3
Dear God,
I have been an OK boy this year. I still would really like a bike for my birthday.
Bobby
Bobby knew he could not send this letter to God either. So, Bobby wrote a fourth letter.
Letter 4
God,
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a bike for my birthday.
Please! Thank you,
Bobby
Bobby knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. Now, Bobby was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mom that he wanted to go to church. Bobby's mother thought her plan had worked, as Bobby looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner", Bobby's mother told him.
Bobby walked down the street to the church on the corner. Little Bobby went into the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. Bobby bent down and picked up a statue of the Mary. He slipped the statue under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into the house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen.
Bobby began to write his letter to God.
Letter 5
God,
I'VE KIDNAPPED YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND ME THE BIKE!!
Confessions of a Kid - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Are you a cop - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
Are you a cop - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, a policeman was interrupted by a little first grader. Looking at his uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," he replied and continued writing his report. "My mother says if I ever need help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," he said. "Well, then," she said, extending her foot, "would you please tie my shoe?"
Are you a cop - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, a policeman was interrupted by a little first grader. Looking at his uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," he replied and continued writing his report. "My mother says if I ever need help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," he said. "Well, then," she said, extending her foot, "would you please tie my shoe?"
Are you a cop - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Where is the Library - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
Where is the Library - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, "Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?"
The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, "I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition! "
The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, "I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, you big jerk?"
Where is the Library - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, "Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?"
The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, "I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition! "
The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, "I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, you big jerk?"
Where is the Library - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Predict - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
Predict - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A teacher asked one of the boys in her class,
"Can people predict the future with cards?"
His response was, "My mother can."
The teacher replied, "Really?"
The young boy was quick to explain,
"Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."
Predict - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A teacher asked one of the boys in her class,
"Can people predict the future with cards?"
His response was, "My mother can."
The teacher replied, "Really?"
The young boy was quick to explain,
"Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."
Predict - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Little Johnny got to pee - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
Little Johnny got to pee - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A teacher was trying to teach her classes proper manners. She asked, "Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you needed to go to the bathroom?" Michael thought a moment and said, "I'd say, 'Just a minute. I gotta p¡ss!'" "No, Michael. That would be impolite! Peter, how would you say it?" Peter replied, "I'm sorry, but I really need to go pee." "No, that's better, but still impolite. Little Johnny, what would you say?" "I'd say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for just a moment? I must go shake hands with a dear friend. And, after dinner, I hope you get to meet him!'"
Little Johnny got to pee - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A teacher was trying to teach her classes proper manners. She asked, "Michael, if you were on a date, having supper with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you needed to go to the bathroom?" Michael thought a moment and said, "I'd say, 'Just a minute. I gotta p¡ss!'" "No, Michael. That would be impolite! Peter, how would you say it?" Peter replied, "I'm sorry, but I really need to go pee." "No, that's better, but still impolite. Little Johnny, what would you say?" "I'd say, 'Darling, may I please be excused for just a moment? I must go shake hands with a dear friend. And, after dinner, I hope you get to meet him!'"
Little Johnny got to pee - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
The Soccer Stars - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
The Soccer Stars - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game". They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer.
"We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it's doing by listening for it. They're pretty good at it too."
"Very clever!" remarks the other patron.
Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, "Hey! Are you the guy with those darn blind kids from the bus?"
"Yes," says the teacher, stung by the way "his" kids are being referred to, "what about it? You got something against blind kids?"
"Nothing, ordinarily," says the guy, still scowling out the window, "but you better get them rounded up quick! They're kicking the heck out of my best milk cow!"
The Soccer Stars - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school's soccer team to an "away game". They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer.
"We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it's doing by listening for it. They're pretty good at it too."
"Very clever!" remarks the other patron.
Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, "Hey! Are you the guy with those darn blind kids from the bus?"
"Yes," says the teacher, stung by the way "his" kids are being referred to, "what about it? You got something against blind kids?"
"Nothing, ordinarily," says the guy, still scowling out the window, "but you better get them rounded up quick! They're kicking the heck out of my best milk cow!"
The Soccer Stars - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Air sickness - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
Air sickness - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"
Air sickness - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A little guy gets on a plane and sits next to the window. A few minutes later, a big, heavy, strong mean-looking, hulking guy plops down in the seat next to him and immediately falls asleep. The little guy starts to feel a little airsick, but he's afraid to wake the big guy up to ask if he can go to the bathroom. He knows he can't climb over him, and so the little guy is sitting there, looking at the big guy, trying to decide what to do. Suddenly, the plane hits an air pocket and an uncontrollable wave of nausea passes through the little guy. He can't hold it in any longer and pukes all over the big guy's chest. About five minutes later the big guy wakes up, looks down, and sees the vomit all over him. "So," says the little guy, "are you feeling better now?"
Air sickness - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Spellings - Funny kid jokes - Funny Jokes
Spellings - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson, each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to us. All right, Billy. You go first."
Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My father's a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends people in court."
The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Benjamin."
Tyrone stands up and says, "My name's Benjamin. My father's a pharmacist, f-a-m ... f-a-r-n ... f-n..."
The teacher says, "Benjamin, you go home tonight and learn how to spell pharmacist. All right, Angelo."
Angelo stands up and says, "My name's Angelo. My old man's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was here, he'd give you nine-to-five odds Benjamin ain't spellin' pharmacist by tomorrow."
Spellings - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson, each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to us. All right, Billy. You go first."
Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My father's a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends people in court."
The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Benjamin."
Tyrone stands up and says, "My name's Benjamin. My father's a pharmacist, f-a-m ... f-a-r-n ... f-n..."
The teacher says, "Benjamin, you go home tonight and learn how to spell pharmacist. All right, Angelo."
Angelo stands up and says, "My name's Angelo. My old man's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was here, he'd give you nine-to-five odds Benjamin ain't spellin' pharmacist by tomorrow."
Spellings - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Bad language - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Bad language - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new airplane in the living room. She heard her son say, "All of you sons of b**ches get the hell off the plane now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b**ches who are getting on, get your asses in the plane, cause we're going to take-off now."
The mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your plane, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his plane. Soon the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are deplaning,please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for flying with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will fly with us again soon."
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember,there is no smoking on the plane. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the idiot in the kitchen."
Bad language - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing with his new airplane in the living room. She heard her son say, "All of you sons of b**ches get the hell off the plane now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of b**ches who are getting on, get your asses in the plane, cause we're going to take-off now."
The mother went in and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your plane, but I want you to use nice language."
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his plane. Soon the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are deplaning,please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for flying with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will fly with us again soon."
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember,there is no smoking on the plane. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the idiot in the kitchen."
Bad language - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Prayers before eating - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Prayers before eating - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
Prayers before eating - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
Prayers before eating - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Maths - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Maths - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
Maths - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
Maths - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Kid's password - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Kid's password - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A Kid calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.
Kid: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. Whatz the joke?
Help Desk: Dear kid, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password.
Kid: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.
Kid's password - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
A Kid calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.
Kid: When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. Whatz the joke?
Help Desk: Dear kid, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person standing behind, he can't read your password.
Kid: Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.
Kid's password - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Birth - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Birth - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Junior asks his dad, "Daddy, how was I born?"
His dad sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button. Six weeks later, your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self-extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS.
Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said: 'You've Got Male'
Birth - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Junior asks his dad, "Daddy, how was I born?"
His dad sighs and replies, "Ah, my son, I guess one day you would have to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, but it was too late to hit the delete button. Six weeks later, your mom sent me an instant message saying that her operating system was showing signs of unauthorized program activity from a self-extracting file which had implanted itself in her BIOS.
Then nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared and said: 'You've Got Male'
Birth - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Homework - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Homework - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:
"One and one, the son-of-a-bi*ch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bi*ch is four."
"Three and three... "
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.
His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny's mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.
The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."
Homework - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
Little Johnny was busy doing his homework. As his mother approached she heard:
"One and one, the son-of-a-bi*ch is two."
"Two and two, the son-of-a-bi*ch is four."
"Three and three... "
His mother interrupted, asking where he had learned this way of doing math. Little Johnny remarked that his teacher Ms. Margo taught him.
His mother was rather upset and told him to stop the homework. The next day she stormed into Little Johnny's classroom and confronted Ms. Margo. Little Johnny's mother told Ms. Margo about Little Johnny's different way of doing math, and his claims that Ms. Margo taught it that way to the class.
The teacher was flabbergasted. She said that she couldn't understand why Little Johnny had said what he did. Then suddenly, Ms Margo exclaimed, "Oh, I know, here in school we say, one and one, the sum-of-which is two."
Homework - Funny Kid Jokes - Funny Jokes
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