Responses to pick up lines - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Man: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die
laughing.
Man: I'd go through anything for you.
Woman: Good! Let's start with your bank account.
Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.
Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Responses to pick up lines - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Funny Quotes and Jokes offers a lot of Funny Jokes and Funny Quotes to entertain people who love quote and jokes. Have Fun
Showing posts with label Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes. Show all posts
Conversation - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Conversation - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance l! ike this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
Conversation - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance l! ike this forever.
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
MAN : You remind me of the sea.
WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
Conversation - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
All in a Hairy Day - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes
All in a Hairy Day - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Woman1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the
mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman1: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut
like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with
this stuff I think.
Woman2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you
could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I
think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would
accent my long neck.
Woman1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything
to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder
line.
Woman2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your
shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms
see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes
to fit me so much easier.
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.
All in a Hairy Day - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Woman1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the
mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman1: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut
like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with
this stuff I think.
Woman2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you
could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I
think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would
accent my long neck.
Woman1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything
to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder
line.
Woman2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your
shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms
see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes
to fit me so much easier.
Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.
All in a Hairy Day - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Friendship - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Friendship - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Friendship between women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship between men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Friendship - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Friendship between women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship between men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Friendship - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes
Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes
Responses to pick up lines
Conversation
All in a Hairy Day
Friendship
Gas Station
Never make a woman angry
Wife
Man and Woman
Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes
Responses to pick up lines
Conversation
All in a Hairy Day
Friendship
Gas Station
Never make a woman angry
Wife
Man and Woman
Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes
Gas Station - Man Vs Woman Funny Jokes - Funny Jokes
Gas Station - Man Vs Woman Funny Jokes - Funny Jokes
Why do women pass less gas than men?
Because women won't be quiet long enough to build up pressure!
Gas Station - Man Vs Woman Funny Jokes - Funny Jokes
Why do women pass less gas than men?
Because women won't be quiet long enough to build up pressure!
Gas Station - Man Vs Woman Funny Jokes - Funny Jokes
Never make a woman angry - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Never make a woman angry - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.
She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
" Czechoslovakia ."
Never make a woman angry - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.
She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."
When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.
"Which word?" the woman asked.
"Love."
The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.
About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.
While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"
"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"
"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.
"Which word?" her husband asked.
" Czechoslovakia ."
Never make a woman angry - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Wife - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Wife - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.
Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets.
At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
Wife - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"
She said, "I'd love to be ten again."
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was.
She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.
Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets.
At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"
One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"
Wife - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Man and Woman - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Man and Woman - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Why did the woman cross the road?
Wait, better question, why is she out of the kitchen!?
Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, shes already been told twice.
Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
Man and Woman - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
Why did the woman cross the road?
Wait, better question, why is she out of the kitchen!?
Why don't women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, shes already been told twice.
Q. How do you get a man to do sit-ups?
A. Put the remote control between his toes.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
Man and Woman - Funny Man Vs Woman Jokes - Funny Jokes
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
